It’s been over a month since I’ve written and the
explanation is simple: I’m in full-on
nesting mode.
All of Bobby’s clothes and linens are washed; the diaper bag
is packed and ready; and the nursery is nearly complete. We’ve taken the hospital tour and filled out
all of the intake paperwork. We tracked
down a breast pump and researched a couple pediatricians.
Yet, the “if my water breaks today” list is still
uncomfortably long. Before my feet even
hit our bedroom floor, I find myself repeating the unchecked items like a
mantra: Ready the vehicles, install the car seats, pack the ‘bug-out-bag,’
freeze some meals, watch the shaken baby video, purchase cradle sheets…etc.
Additionally, we’re tying loose ends at work, saving every available
penny and trying desperately to keep up with all the other chores.
In the midst of this mania, I’m still a human going through
a gigantic transition. There have been
emotional highs and lows, physical obstacles and external challenges the likes
of which I’ve never personally known.
Truth time: If I stop
long enough to think about some of these underlying anxieties, I cry.
Many of these challenges involve other people and are thus
unblogable; but happily I do have an alternative outlet: music.
Throughout my life, the gift of song has rescued me from many a spiritual
valley. Now more than ever, I’m inspired
to turn all of my joy and pain into honest lyrics.
I’ve been collaborating with a good friend since June and (spoilers,
guys) it’s really friggin good. Easily
my best work to date. I will be very
proud to present it to you all when it’s done.
Until then, the catharsis of creation, the promise of Bobby’s
smile and my INCREDIBLE husband have been getting me through.
Of course when all else fails, I can always throw myself
into the to-do list.
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