BABY STEPS

It was after 8 PM that mild January evening when I finally collapsed in a defeated heap on the couch.  Will trailed behind me.  “Food?” he asked.  “Food!” I demanded.  The events of the day had drained and starved us.  But, somewhere between the disorganized walk-through, the delayed closing and the maddening negotiations – Will and I were homeowners.    

After months of underwriting, haggling and check-writing – we had won!

I expected to wake up eager to pack our apartment and pick bathroom fixtures.  Instead, I was utterly hung over.  Stress always knocks me out and it seemed the closing had allowed a cold to sneak in.  I made the earliest possible appointment with my physician and shuffled off to work.

I was early to my appointment that Thursday, desperate for an antibiotic or ANYTHING to cure this fatigue.  I hadn’t felt this tired since Lyme disease and no amount of sleep seemed to help. 

The nurse’s line of questioning was pretty typical. 

“When did this start?”

“Any allergies that you’re aware of?”

“Are you pregnant?”

When I didn’t answer her last question, the nurse looked up from her notes.

“Am I pregnant?”

Until that moment it hadn’t occurred to me.  Since our honeymoon, I put myself through a roller-coaster self-doubt, excitedly purchasing pregnancy tests each 27^th of the month only for my period to come the next day.  It got to be so ridiculous that my Mom actually snapped “Don’t buy any more tests until you’re late!” 

Fair enough.

“It’s possible,” I told the nurse “but not likely.”

 “I see here it’s possible you’re pregnant?” the doctor asked, scanning the notes.

“I’m not late or anything, but it’s possible.” I conceded.

“Well let’s take a urine sample and find out.”

At least home pregnancy tests relieve your suspense in a matter of minutes.  It had been HOURS since I left the doctor’s office and still no word.  Anxious, I phoned around 4 but he’d already gone for the day. 

The next morning, my anxiety was gone.  I was crampy so I popped a tampon and started to get ready for work.

“What’s the weather supposed to be today?” Will asked from the living room.

“Not too bad.” I said, pinning my hair up. 

The phone rang and with my hands busy I just threw it on speaker phone.

“Alex, I’m so sorry for the delay but I JUST got the results of your pregnancy test.”

I didn’t even stop what I was doing as I heard him shuffling papers on the other end.

“Hmm, okay…” he said, “It’s positive.”

“Wait… what?”

“It’s positive.”

“So… wait, positive means… that I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant??”

“You’re pregnant!!!”

SILENCE.

“This is good news, right?”

“Oh my God… of course!  Of course!” I said.

I then remembered Will was still in the next room.  I hung up with the doctor and walked in to find him completely still, somewhat happy but mostly bewildered.

“I assume... you heard…” I asked tentatively.

“Yes.” 

My eyes filled with tears as he swept me into the biggest hug of my life.

"I can't believe we have to go to work now like nothing happened!"

He looked down at me and said lovingly “I guess it’s a good thing we bought that house, huh?”