BETWEEN A BUMP AND A HARD PLACE

Week nine – I’m on an elevator. 

“How far along are you?” asks a male neighbor, presumptuously. 

Smiling, I reply “about nine weeks.”

“Wow!” he exclaims.  “My wife’s four months and you’re MUCH bigger than her.”

Week twelve – A family member gasps at the sight of me and insists I replace cookies with salad for the remainder of my prenatal period. 

Teary-eyed, I retrieve Chips Ahoy from the supermarket.

Week fifteen – I engage my pants in a twenty minute battle for closure.  Finally, my button submits – victory!  Walking into the office however, I discover I’ve forgotten the zipper.  RETREAT!

OK, so I popped early.  And yes, my clothes are snug.  And wow, people are not shy!

But I don’t need any reminders, guys.  Life reminds me constantly!

I’m blessed to have never really struggled with my weight.  This is the biggest I’ve ever been.  And while I’m THRILLED to be pregnant, it has already taken a wee toll.  I mean, walking is hard; sleeping is hard; driving is hard!  I’m not whining, but in the immortal words of Ron Burgundy “that escalated quickly!”

Being a positive person I decided to embrace my bump and schedule a cute WE’RE PREGNANT photo shoot.  Excitedly, I made plans to pick up booties and pumpkins and bellylicious outfits.  That was until I was asked “…but are you really big enough for a photo shoot like that?”

Well – I don’t know. 

What’s big enough? 

What’s too big? 

I’m trying to turn lemons into lemonade here, people (errr fat into Facebook likes) – somebody please throw me a bone!

All of that said, my doctor says I’m right on track.  

So please excuse me while I tune you out and get ready for my close up.