Sunday, March 6, 2011


Plucked, concealed, lined, gelled, glossed, styled and approved by my gay husband, I left for Grand Central Station to meet Marathon Man.  I already knew I liked what the cross-country running investment banker had to say online, so now it was time to see if we had any chemistry in person. 

I was delighted to find he showed up(!), was slightly taller than me(!), and planned quite a lovely evening.  We were to start with drinks at Pegu Club, (a fabulous mixology lounge on West Houston); and continue onto a posh Asian speakeasy named Angel’s Share.  Tasty drinks, amazing food, and wonderful company---what more could a girl ask for?

Well… I’ll tell ya…

The first thing that struck me about Marathon Man was how young he looked.  His baby, shaved face combined with his slight stature and slender running body made him look all of seventeen.  This contributed to one experience that left me feeling like a “Daddy’s Girl” more than I ever have in my life.

The bar stool to my left seemed to be the drunk seat.  The first man who sat there actually fell asleep, covering the bar in his long Asian hair and drool.  He began to tilt in my direction like a chopped tree, but luckily I was saved… by the bartender.  Noticing the apparent intoxication of my woozy next-door neighbor, the servers propped him up and removed him before he could topple into me. 

Relieved that Drunky was gone, Marathon Man and I had a chuckle and continued on with our great conversation.  That was until a belligerent, incoherently mumbling man replaced him.

     “Is everyone in here just like me…” he slurred “Fuckin… white and Jewish?” It appeared the man was addressing this question to me, and he kept repeating himself until I answered.
     “Um… I don’t know sir.  I didn’t take inventory.”
     “Well maybe you fuckin’ should!” he shot back.  Suddenly, the sleepy Asian wasn’t looking so bad.

Surprised, I turned to face my date and… nothing!  No offer to switch seats, no male bravado, no instinct to protect whatsoever.  I slowly began to realize that though Marathon Man is wonderful, he could probably never protect me in a volatile situation.

Now---don’t get me wrong, I’m not writing this guy off.  But there’s a small part of me that wants someone broad-shouldered; someone take-charge; someone… well, like my Dad.

My Dad is the kind of man who leaps out of bed when he hears a noise in the house.  My Dad is the kind of man who would throw himself in front of a gigantic, drugged-up delinquent to keep him from coming onto our property.  My Dad is the kind of man who intervenes when he sees a drunk 42-year-old hitting on me at a party.  He is not the kind of man who would sit passively as an intoxicated patron cussed at me.

No, I did not want Marathon Man to get into a fight; and no, I did not want him to make a scene; but perhaps a small acknowledgement of what had transpired might have been nice.

Overall however, I’m nit-picking.  The date was [easily] the best I’ve had with an Internet prospect and I do plan on going to a jazz club with him next week.  We have a ton in common and I’m willing to see if more sparks fly next time around.

But one question still nags me...  Do all women want a broad, protective man who will make them feel as safe as their Daddies do?  And if so, will Marathon Man fit the bill?


  1. Well, speaking from a Hope perspective I am the more of the protector then the protectee. Remember how I made a man have an asthma attack for being a stalker. But also I like to have Jason protect me from bad things as well. By bad things I mean, have him sleep on the outer edge of the bed near the door. That way he dies first and I have an attempt to get out of there, or defend myself. So I believe that everyone wants someone to look out for them, protect them, be there when horrible situations occur. As for marathon man, take it slow. Perhaps the world didn't make him realize the social graces in this particular situation, but maybe in the future he will stun you in other situations.

  2. Wow, I am sorry. It's been a long day and my first sentence is horribly written.

  3. To answer your question, from an analytical male perspective, I think all women want/expect some sort of protection from a potential suitor.
    It's my experience that -while it may not be #1 on the list- a sense of Security runs a very close 2nd.
    Besides, your pint-sized stature would appreciate a little protection every now and again :)
    As for Marathon Man, don't let his passivity define him. He was most likely just as, if not more, nervous as you. It may have caught him off guard. I'm sure he thought about that incident for the rest of the evening, wondering what he coulda/shoulda done. As long as he didn't offend any of your 5 senses, I think he definitely deserves a round 2.
    Curious, were the Drunken Monk and the Jewish Jellybean large men?

    Also, I have a request...Can you go out on dates Twice a week? Because these posts are so entertaining to read, I dont think once a week will do for me. :)

  4. From A"mom"ymous to Pierre:

    For many years you protected my "little one". Thank you!

  5. I think we all want to feel protected a little when we go out with a man. Not to say we can't take care of ourselves, but if the situation gets more intense, we want the guy to jump in & take care of it.

  6. Every woman likes to feel as though she can count on her partner/date to defend or protect her in a dangerous or sticky situation. Give marathon man another chance...I do believe he was nervous, it being your first date and all. He probably did not want to cause a scene. However, if you are attracted to and looking for tall, dark and handsome or rough and tough strong and mean....You may still want to stand out in the rain.

  7. You're quite welcome A"mom"ymous :)

  8. I just found your blog and I think the idea is really interesting. Many friends of mine have tried internet dating, and two of my closest friends actually met their long term partners through interet dating sites :).
    With regards to this, I have a preference for strong and protective men, as it makes me feel safe :). Nice post, looking forward to more from you.

  9. I must admit, one of the things I adore about my almost-hubby is the fact that he is broad-shouldered and willing to throw himself into moving traffic for me. On the other hand, maybe the lesson we should take from our hero-dad is that it's important to be protectors as well as protected? This guy sounds really nice though, Ali. :> This may be one to introduce to your butt-kicking, Taekwondo-doing sister and brother-in-law.

  10. (JS)

    I'm pretty close to being the last person that wants to get into a fight, and I can definitely associate with the date possibly hating himself for not mentioning it afterward. However, I'm on the side that says he could have done more than nothing. A comment to address it to see your reaction. An attempt see if you wanted to switch; something. I don't think it's out of the question obviously to give him a second chance, which I think is a good move for you, but I would keep that in the back of my mind, as I'm sure you will.