Welcome back to the rollercoaster my friends. Thanks to your encouragement, I’ve decided to strap back in and resume the ride. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?
At the risk of sending you into a shock-induced episode, I must confess that I [the Siren of Misfit Boys] once possessed even LESS savvy with the opposite sex. However, one of the most important breakthroughs occurred when I realized that life is not a movie.
Yes, this seems like a rather obvious fact. But ladies, admit it: We all want to live in a chick flick. We want the love montages; the witty banter; the grand gestures. Well, after life debunks these staples of sappy cinema, one begins to reject statements like “OH MY GOD, this is totally like [insert fictional couple here]!”
Just about every unrealistic romantic comedy begins with what is referred to as the “meet-cute.” According to Wikipedia, this is when “two potential romantic partners meet” in a humorously awkward way. As embarrassing as this is---I actually had a meet-cute; one that nearly sent me into a full-fledged romantic relapse.
Rewind to last Tuesday evening. Mr. Marriage had just depleted my faith in humanity and I, broken-hearted, walked hungrily to the Tavern for a take-out dinner. Still in my flowy performance attire, I noticed a man checking me out. Tall, broad-shouldered and all-American, he embodied every attribute of the contemporary romantic hero. But before I could work myself into a proper lash-batting, hair-twirling frenzy, he was gone!
Dejected once more, I snatched my burger and went home.
A few days later, between work and about three thousand errands, I ran frantically to the Tavern for another quick bite. Much to my surprise, the man who passed me up was there again! I tried not to look over at him as I waited for my food…but I couldn’t help it. After a few exchanged glances, the man approached me.
“Hi” he said with a smile.
“Oh, hi” I replied trying to combat my rapidly blushing cheeks.
“Didn’t I see you in here the other night?”
“The other night… hmm… Oh yes, I came in after my gig” I said, trying to play it all off.
Long story short, we got to talking. He learned that I’m in finance by day and music by night. I learned that he is in the Marine Corps.
Talk about chick flicks! We were now one debilitating disease away from being a Nicholas Sparks novel. I was about to transfer to the “When You Least Expect It” school, when he shook my hand and said:
“Well, it was very nice to meet you Alex.”
My lips formed a cordial goodbye but my mind spouted confused curse words. WTF, no digits, no future meeting, NOTHING? I simply couldn’t believe it. But as you know, the “law of three” dictates that I would have to meet him again. And in real life [with no creepy stalking required], I actually did! Same place, same reason…
“So what, you live here?” I asked, giggling.
“You must think I’m such a degenerate” he replied.
“No, no… just a barfly… it’s okay” I said laughing. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Not at all!” A loyal wing-man, his friend suddenly leapt up.
“Please, sit down” My Marine said “I’ll buy you a drink.”
An hour later, we were still talking when he FINALLY popped the question.
“Can I have your number?”
“Sure,” I smiled.
“Great! I’d love to call you tonight if you’re free!”
“I might be!”
“I mean… I can’t make any promises, but if I’m out locally, I’ll definitely call you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I go back to Japan in two days, so my family might want me to stay in with them tonight.”
Well, there’s the universe I know and love!
“Oh wow… Japan eh?”
“Yeah, I’ll be in there for six months and then Afghanistan for another six months after that. It’s really exciting!”
...Dejected once more, I snatched my burger and went home.
After devouring what was left of my pity-dinner, I agreed to meet next week for a coffee date with a college football coach on POF... Because who needs a meet-cute anyway?