Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Rather than lament the misery of single life, there are times to appreciate the subtle joys of detachment.  With no man to cuddle with this past, rainy Saturday---I decided to fill it up with the people and activities I love. 

Braving the weather, I took in a musical at The Sandbox Theatre and later caught up with some former band mates at a Good N Plentie gig.  It was a great time; filled with laughter and singing; drinking and dancing.  By the end of their last set, I had truly made a night of it; but I still wanted more.  So as a last minute impulse, I trotted my social behind to the local dive for one more drink.  What I got instead was a triple shot of my past---straight up.

“One Vodka Cranberry, please” I ordered.
“It’s on me,” interjected the adjacent barfly.
As I turned to thank my new beverage benefactor, a trio of dart players caught my eye. 

"Oh No..." I gasped in horror.

I knew I knew them…and I knew where from.  I knew we’d all spent the better part of two years together.  I knew what kind of beer they liked and what video games they played.  Most of all, I knew that they knew me---as their friend’s fiancé---so many years ago.       

Yup, that’s right!  Once upon a time; your little Alex was engaged.  He wasn’t a handsome prince and it wasn’t a happy ending, but it did set the stage for so many other adventures.

At this point, the only thing I didn’t know was how to act.  Luckily, one gulp of liquid courage eliminated that problem post-haste...

“HEEEYYYYYYYY!!!”  I cheered [a little too] enthusiastically.
“ALEX, HEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!” They greeted back.

Ah, relief!  My ex had onced crushed me with the news that his friends were thrilled to see me go.  It particularly saddened me to think that his best friend thought less of me.  He always seemed so funny and kind; and I thought we got along really well!  Well, now [in the midst of their warm, drunken hospitality] I learned that I was right.  In fact his friends distanced themselves from him shortly after our break-up and they haven't spoken since.

Before you know it, they were buying me drinks and inviting me to play darts.  But after three more Vodka Crans [and some truly unsafe dart launching] I was drunk off my petite patoot!  Somehow suddenly, our party dwindled down to two:  Me and the Ex’s Ex-Best Friend.  We caught up on work, life---everything.  Soon he even walked me home…  Even got my number…  Even kissed me… 


 But even in my condition, I knew it was wise to send him home.  So I did.

We texted yesterday and while I admittedly have NO idea what to make of any of this---I find myself oddly intrigued.

So readers, the question is… should I be?


  1. He's breaking the code: NEVER date a friend's ex. Even if you're no longer friends.

  2. I do feel the need to say that it has been three years AND my ex is currently married. So... does that impact man code at all?

  3. Go for it Alex! Life is short! At least see where it goes...if it's too awkward you'll know right away =0)

  4. Why not ?
    If it doesn't bother you or him and as the ex is no longer in either of your lives then go for it.

    Stranger things have happened.

  5. Alexsandra Rose, don't be silly. "Man code" doesn't apply here. Look at Vito and I, for example. If he had followed this "code", we would have passed up the chance of a lifetime. It all worked out for us, why can't it for you? Never pass up the opportunity to be with a good man. From what I recall of him, he is a gentleman and a good person. What do you have to lose?

  6. Hey, sometimes you have to kiss the wrong "TOAD" to find the right "Prince"...Forget the "Mancode", especially since your Ex is now married and is no longer friends with this guy. He may never even know and probably won't care anyways... Have fun sweetie...

  7. What you have to owe to the world has everything to do with self. If you feel that this is right it is. There's no code to life and no blueprint, you create it. So to sum it up I say DO WORK.

  8. If the ex is married his friend just became available.

    The mancode shall let you pass, please proceed. :)

  9. Unless you have some unspoken promise to this ex of yours that states you may never date a friend of his that happens to no longer be his friend...then I say be intrigued. Be excited and go for it- have some fun, enjoy your life.

  10. Alex, if the Ex is out of everyone's life, and you feel like going for it......try it! You will know after 1-3 dates where you think it will lead. If no one has any contact with the EX who cares! My motto was the first date is awkward, but you will know if you are interested in a second date........the second date will be better than the first, and if you will go for a third..........by the third date i would know if I wanted to go for more or call it quits.

  11. Alex...take it from Aunt K...you don't owe Mr. Ex
    anything...nada...zero...zip! If it works out, you can send Ex a thank you note...

  12. GO FOR IT! You only live once & maybe the past WAS what it was to join you two.... destiny? hey, you never know until you try it!!! :)