Tuesday, February 15, 2011



I survived the day, readers---date free and almost completely content. In spite of this illegitimate, commercially charged “holiday”, my spirits were bolstered by the lingering aftertaste of a wonderful weekend:

Friday-alumni night, Saturday-karaoke with my gays, and Sunday-an unusual outing with Piano Man.

Truth time: I may or may not have had a [brief] fling with my jazz piano teacher. And he may or may not have turned out to be an emotionally confused disaster. And you may or may not be able to guess how I feel about emotionally confused disasters.

But really---we’re just friends now. No romance here. No attraction either. Just one small girl, helping her disastrously confused piano teacher through his latest drama.

“This is for you” he said revealing a single red rose from behind his back.
And apparently---that’s exactly what my face said too.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“Wrong? Oh no… of course n…”
“Because I thought I’d try to win you over, you know… Valentine’s Day and all.”
“Win me over?” I was confused. Last I heard Piano Man was trying to win back the affection of his ex-girlfriend.
“It just wasn’t working and we decided to separate.”

After an awkward pause, I finally took the rose.

I will say---Piano Man put together quite the day: Authentic Thai followed by Magnolia Bakery cupcakes and finally, ending with the MoMA.

Before long, we’d fallen into a familiar rhythm of strange tangents and quick jokes. We talked about how our lives were really going, not just the versions we tell the general public. And somewhere between the rose and the Rothko, I realized---I was enjoying myself.

At this point, the sane part of my brain told me I had to get out of there. So Piano Man walked me to Grand Central Station and bid me farewell.

Arriving home, exhausted, I put my single red rose in water and went to sleep.

When I arrived at work this morning---love was in the air. Or should I say sugar? Sugar was in the air. Goodie bags, chocolate kisses and our very own cookie decorating party at noon.

As I sat, icing my obnoxious pink cookie, the girls all chit-chatted about their exciting evening plans.

“What about you, Alex? Any dates?”
“Oh no… I sort of had one this weekend” I replied.
“Oh?! When?”
“Yesterday. We went to the…” but I had lost them. Everyone looked at each other in a moment of horrifying telepathy.
“What?” I wanted to know.
“Yesterday,” said one of my co-workers “was National Mistress Day.”

Well Hallmark, I think you've found your next big money maker… Have at it.


  1. lol, most entertaining post yet. I almost forgot about Mistress Day. Yes yes, the day before Valentine's Day. Well, on the bright side, at least you got a free meal and some entertainment out of it without demeaning yourself.

  2. 12 MEN!? OHHHH BOYYYY! Aren't you quite the juggler?

  3. Sunday was "National Mistress Day"?

    I have to believe that this man is on a "mission", lunch, MoMa, and a cupcake would want more than a kiss goodnight...Piano man may be confused, but he likes you...

  4. (JS)

    Since the "Communicating" of "Currently Communicating With" is an open term, and the fact that your 4th post says "12 Men", I feel like you will lose some readers if you don't clarify what this means. Reason being, if you are open to everyone that you are failing with relationships and getting dates and are trying to get people to relate to you and perhaps consider you the underdog, stating that you are communicating with 12 men is not going to help you out in the department. Since this is an experiment and you are trying to be as honest as possible and explain what's going on, I completely understand why you would do this. However, I personally see you texting 12 guys and one time which, from a guy's standpoint, seems like more than enough. And this is written to protect you and explain how you might come off as, rather than an attack, just so you are aware.

  5. You would have to figure in the communication to date ratio. As the old adage states "you have to kiss a lot of frogs..." this forum allows one to "write the frogs", and weed them out.

    Keep writing...

  6. Yes, to clarify: When I say I'm currently communicating with someone, this means I chose to answer their e-mail and we now have a written volley on the dating site. I've only exchanged personal contact information with two people so far.

  7. I have to say that I don't think this is last we'll hear about "piano man" and you. Definitely some unfinished business there..But all in all not a bad "valentine mistress" night.

  8. The MOMA, Thai food & Magnolias... Very NYC. Glad you had a good time. Saw that you are from Westchester; me too!! Check out my blog:


    Enjoy the snow ;)