Sad but true. Tonight, I join the 20% of 20-something-singles who have been stood up for a date.
The guy: An outrageously tall Jewish man from New Jersey. According to his profile, he works in technology and [ironically] “values personal integrity in a mate.”
The Jewish Giant seemed very smart and very nice. We exchanged e-mails for about a week and spoke over the phone once before planning our date. He was to call after he got out of work this evening at which point, we would meet up for a meal here in Westchester County. The proposed time was eight o’clock.
Well imagine my shock and dismay when after a late shower, detailed make-up application, skilled blow-out and painfully thoughtful clothing selection, my Jewish Giant had still not phoned.
Of course, being the lady I am, I certainly was not going to call him. So here I am, left to sort out my feelings on this odd, odd event.
This is what I’ve come up with so far:
Was this ideal? Definitely not. But I’d be lying if I said I was completely broken up over this.
Lest you think I’m a callused, unfeeling bitch, allow me to clarify.
Had this happened in the conventional dating arena, I would probably be a weepy, ice-cream devouring mess. In my head, I’d likely be in frantic search of my tragic flaw: “Did I sound too desperate when I agreed to our date?” “Was he turned off by my last text?” “Did I smell bad when we had coffee last week?”
As you can see, in the field of rejection analysis---some women are unparalleled in the discipline of self-torture. But the reality is---whether the ‘stander-upper’ is an ass-hole or simply an absent minded professor…he is probably just not for you.
It’s as simple and impersonal as that.
Online, this is a concept more easily grasped. Tonight I was able to change into my sweat pants, turn on some jazz and revisit the Jewish Giant’s profile. Sure, we had some things in common, but we hadn’t yet developed any chemistry to latch onto. Thus---I was able to rationally put this in its proper place. And my freshly stocked inbox didn’t hurt either (ten new messages… five of them interesting).
As empowering as this might have been, it was simultaneously frightening. Is this technology allowing us to trade intimacy for indifference? OR is this just a better way to screen the ‘stander-uppers’ from the studs?
It’s a question I should probably keep in mind as I continue on this cyber-search for love.