Thursday, February 10, 2011



Well, this evening I hit a rather important milestone.  I came out of my cyber-dating, shameless blogging closet to---my shrink!    

I’ve always believed in therapy as a place to gain perspective on some of my more impulsive behaviors.  This week, I half expected Dr. J to refer me to daters anonymous.  Instead (in the grand tradition of talk-therapy) she smiled with impartial support and delighted in the potential amusement this experiment will bring to her “couch”. 

Therapists always tell you to be mindful of patterns, which got me thinking about mine.

I’m a 23-year-old, employed, ‘living-on-her-own’ college graduate.  I have wonderful friends, a fabulous apartment and passions for days.  But beneath this seemingly stable exterior is a bona fide ‘lady fix-it.’ 

Based on earlier posts, it should come as no surprise that I’ve been known to swoop in to rescue the [clinically anti-social, pathologically lying, verbally abusive, substance dabbling, self-esteem lacking, completely inexperienced, narcissistic] guy.  Now don’t get me wrong, these men ALL had wonderful qualities; but sometimes, it’s the unrealistic allure of being this man’s medicine that truly hooks me in. 

I blame “Beauty and the Beast.”  “Barely even friends/then somebody bends/unexpectedly??”  Mrs. Pots, you fail to tell these young impressionable girls that the pliable individual will most likely NOT be the beast.   But I digress…

Online dating is a wonderful screening tool, but since my own bias can easily slip through the cracks… I’m going to take this one step further.  Whether you know me or not, please comment with a date suggestion, ie:  “Alex, I think this week you should date a [teacher, Taurus, scuba-diver].” 

With enough suggestions to spread across the coming weeks, I’ll be forced to leave my comfort zone and open up to people I may not have otherwise.

Please don’t let me down, Readers!  And please do not suggest a convicted felon…  Unless he’s cute.

Please view my profile below to get a sense for who I am and what I’m looking forJ.

My name's Alex and I'm a first time fisher :)

I currently work as an executive assistant at an insurance company. My passion is and always will be music. I started singing when I was six years old and it's been a love affair ever since. I also act, draw, write, and I'm currently learning jazz piano. I'm a little interior decorator at heart as well :).

My main goals include(in no particular order...):
1. Advancing in my career
2. Cutting an album of original songs and re-arranged covers
3. Finding a man I can share my passions with

Things that make me unique are:
1. My height
2. My eye-lashes 
3. I have no sense of smell (usually a good thing...)
4. My ambition and work ethic
5. My voice

Musically, I am an old soul. My favorite artists include Frank Sinatra, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, Michael Buble, Louis Armstrong, Jamie Cullum and James Morrison. I do believe all music has it's place and I'm very open to listening to just about anything.

Looking forward to reading your ideas, loversJ.


  1. Alex,
    Your style of writing is entertaining and I always look forward to the latest date mishap or witty side remark you have to share with us. I can't find in myself to advise you to go out and round up a firefighter or a sensitive poet who happens to be a Capricorn; for if we could date people like ordering chinese take out I'd tell you to go with a millionaire...but I digress.

    The one piece of advice I can extend to you is don't forget to take a break or space out dates/potential suitors/prince charming imposters. Men will always be swimming in the dating pool, so if even if you take this week off, the following week you can still have a pool party.

    I hope you can decipher some wisdom in this post. I never said I was a doctor, I only play one on TV.


    Suddenly Seymour

  2. Alex,

    I have some online dating suggestions. Online dating can have some advantages over conventional dating. The main advantage in my opinion is that you can get to know each other before you even have to deal with them in person.

    My suggestions in somewhat rambling and random order. If you really want to keep away guys who are looking just for sex strongly state you are not looking for sex right away if at all. Say that you are only interested in sex when you are in a committed, serious relationship. Do this in your profile and in first contacts with him. That will usually scare the guys away who are only after sex. I am assuming of course that you are not looking for that quick roll in the hay. If you are, then please disregard. Going into online dating have a plan. Don't go to private emails or phone calls until you feel certain requirements have been met. Write out questions you want to ask in emails and on the phone if it reaches those points. Ask the same questions of every guy. Test your potential new man. Trust but verify. Use the same formula (your plan) all the time unless you need to tweak it when something obviously isn't working. Keep reworking your profile when you feel it is eliciting the wrong responses. Block people who act inappropriately on the dating site. If you do meet someone in person try to have a friend there looking on from across the bar/restaurant.

    Before you meet anyone get their name, address, license plate number,DOB, work place date location and any other personal information you can get. Bring a taser or pepper spray. Have a safe call set up. What's a safe call? When your safe call comes in from a friend you'll have to say a certain phrase that will prove to them you are safe (example: you might say "I'm on a date right now, can I call you back?"). That pre-arranged phrase tells your friend you are safe and that you aren't being forced to say anything (your abductor wouldn't know that you have a prearranged phrase or what it was even if he did know you have one).

    Have I scared you enough? Well, you are the one who said she didn't want to get abducted. So I am just trying to help.

    A date with a good man is a wonderful experience. If you are lucky enough to find one enjoy the date. Don't look forward to a second or third. Don't plan a wedding or a family. Enjoy the moment. You never know what the future will bring. Live in the now. It's a gift. That's why it is called the present.

    Are you giving out your online dating profile page so viewers of this blog can see get involved on that level? If you posted it I missed it.

  3. Challenges:

    *Someone who's favorite color is yellow
    *Someone who's hobby includes fishing
    *Someone who's "sick of the bar scene"
    *Someone who loves the bar scene
    *Someone with a favorite movie that's a "Chick flick"
    *Someone with red hair
    *Someone who is name begins with a B.
    *Someone with completely opposite musical taste.
    *A Buddhist
    *Someone who's favorite ice cream isn't chocolate or vanilla.

    ...will post more as I think of them.


  4. In response to Suddenly Seymour's comment...
    I don't think you should allow the guys you meet on the site to see this blog BECAUSE, what type of a social experiment would that be if they knew that you were collecting data? Do lab rats know that they are in captivity...I'm going to guess NO. As a matter of fact, most men's brains are probably about the size of lab rats anyway. So I say...Alex...keep them in the dark!

  5. Dear ManEater...

    Lab rat? I beg to differ, why do you disgrace the RATS? They are much wiser, and they can feed themselves.

  6. Dear Man_Eater,

    I'm actually a friend of Alex's, not one of her lab mice. Someone is bitter about man related issues considering your response had nothing to do with my comment.

    Yup, brains the size of lab rat.

  7. Ladies, you complain but you obviously believe in men enough to pursue them, date them, write about them... and read about them. No hate here, please :).